Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 5/16/2012
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Have you ever heard that? i've heard so many of my friends say that.. There is an attack on women today, and I'm sick of it. You can't go anywhere without being flooded with images of half naked women. Billboards next to the highway, ceiling-to-floor posters in the mall, commercials that sell anything from food to clothes to gum. It is absolutely ridiculous.. The rate of eating disorders is through the roof. If women don't have an eating disorder they are either overly concious of everything they eat, or they are excessively working out to have "the perfect body". It seems people will do anything these days to try to achieve their perfect weight... but when you lose that weight, will you be happy? I doubt it. Once you lose ten pounds, you want to lose ten more. Once you get a flat stomach, all of a sudden it's not good enough unless you have an 8-pack. Once you finally get your arms sculpted how you want them, oh man look at your quads, now you need to perfect those.... and on and on and on it goes.
I have come to realize that unless you are happy with who you are regardless of what you look like, or how much you weight, you will never be happy. You will always find something wrong with your body. You have perfectly straight, white teeth.... but look at those ears, they're uneven, or your nose it's too big! .... people can find the most ridiculous things wrong with their body. You were made in God's image. I recently listened to a lecture by a seminary dean who said, "When you complain about your body you are basically saying, "I wish I was made in something better than God's image!" ... What is better than being made in God's image!! Did you know he knit you together in your mother's womb! Psalm 139:13.... God took the time to make every part of you, even your imperfections.. You need to stop right now and thank God for your perfections. Why you ask? Your imperfections are crucial to your health and well being. Are you familiar with the story of the most beautiful angel? His beauty was so stunning... He started worshipping himself, and other angels started worshipping him too.. God wasn't good enough, this angel wanted to be God, he wanted all the worship for himself.. He was the most beautiful angel, didn't he deserve it?
That's exactly what we do. When we worry over our weight and obsess about what we look like. When we obsess about working out or having the perfect body, we are actually worshipping our bodies. We are creating an idol. Just like that angel, we are making our bodies our gods. Anything that is an idol, or any false god we make is a sin and it takes away from our love for God... That angel who wanted all the worship, do you know who he was? Satan.
"You were the seal of perfection,
full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.
You were in Eden,
the garden of God;
every precious stone adorned you:
carnelian, chrysolite and emerald,
topaz, onyx and jasper,
lapis lazuli, turquoise and beryl.
Your settings and mountings were made of gold;
on the day you were created they were prepared.
You were anointed as a guardian cherub,
for so I ordained you.
You were on the holy mount of God;
you walked among the fiery stones.
You were blameless in your ways
from the day you were created
till wickedness was found in you.
Through your widespread trade
you were filled with violence,
and you sinned.
So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God,
and I expelled you, guardian cherub,
from among the fiery stones.
Your heart became proud
on account of your beauty,
and you corrupted your wisdom
because of your splendor.
So I threw you to the earth;
I made a spectacle of you before kings.
Ezekiel 28:12-17
Did you catch that? He was thrown out of heaven because of his beauty, because of his perfection.
I recently blogged about going on a fast. The 21 days was an amazing spiritual journey, but I have had a difficult time since... When you "starve" your body, it goes into survival mode. As a result anything I ate afterwards was turned straight into fat to ensure that I had fuel for my body. I have never had to worry about having fat, but because of this I have gained weight. I'm in a wedding in July, so I was fitted for a dress before my fast, before I gained weight. I'm okk with not having a perfect body, but I'm not ok with going into a fancy dress store and not fitting into my dress.. I told my best friend about it and she said, "What an amazing opportunity to tell her about Jesus. You can tell her all about your fast and why you gained weight." .... What an amazing perspective. Just because of that one statement, my fear is totally gone.
I don't want a perfect body. I don't want to fall into the same temptation the devil did. I don't want to worship my body, and I don't want others to worship it either. It is important to be healthy and exercise (trust me, my four years as an exercise science major I can tell you all about it) but there is a fine line between being healthy and creating your body your own god, your own form of worship. The only person who deserves our worship is God. That's why I am going to rejoice in my imperfections. I want to stay humble and never get a proud heart.
Thank you God for creating me in Your image.
Thank you God for my imperfections.
Thank you for my big soccer thighs.
Thank you for my love handles.
Thank you for my imperfect teeth.
Thank you for loving me for who I am and not what I've done or who I will become.
I pray that each of you will look in the mirror and see yourself how God sees you. You are beautiful and it's time you start believing in.
How beautiful you are my darling, oh how beautiful....you have captured my heart.
Song of Songs 4
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 5/10/2012
Have you ever felt alone? Have you ever felt like no one understood what you were going through? Have you ever felt like you were missing something... like life should be more than this? Have you ever felt like there's something you're trying to think about or remember, but you can't quite piece it together? Are you trying to feel an emptiness in your soul, but nothing is working?
That's how I felt for a VERY long time.
I felt like something was missing.
I knew there was something more to life... but what?
I have felt empty on the inside for a long time. There was an emptiness in my soul. There are a lot of different things I've tried to jam in that emptiness... I've tried to fill it with relationships. I've tried to fill it with soccer. I've tried to fill it with alcohol. I've tried to fill it with food.. The gap may have been temporary filled for the moment... but the nagging emptiness always returned.
When I felt insecure, I looked for affirmation and love through relationships. When I was upset, I found comfort at the bottom of a bottle. When I was stressed I found my relief through chocolate and ice cream. When I was having problems in life, i just trained that much harder for soccer. Instead of facing my problems I coped by running and getting into shape.
This all changed when God slowly started working on my heart. I began by slowly reading my Bible more. I slowly started turning to bible verses instead of bottles of vodka. At first the change was gradual, until Dustin died. I have never felt more alone than that. i felt like absoultely no one understood what I was going through.
I didn't want to be around anyone, but I didn't want to be alone... How do you explain that, how does that make any sense?
It was during this time that I became closer to God. He was my constant comfort. One day when i was crying in my apartment, the book I had been reading flipped open to a page with an underlined phrase, "You are not alone in your struggles." Jesus showed me that he was right there with me. There is no way I could have gotten through this time without Him.
Now,
When I'm upset, Jesus tells me not to worry.
When i'm insecure, Jesus tells me I'm beautiful.
When I'm stressed, Jesus tells He has a plan for my life.
God has a plan for my life.... How can you be stressed when the One who created the universe also created all the plans for your life? The hardest thing I've ever had to do is just let go. Let go of my dreams. Let go of my plans. Let go of my worldly view. Yet, this has made life so easy. All I have to do is follow God. Although I don't know where I'm going, God does, and that is enough for me.
I wish people understood how easy life can be. Many people will tell you that life is hard... Well why are you trying to do it alone? God wants to do all the hard work. He has already done all the hard work for you. You simply have to invite Him into your life, and ask Him to go on the journey with you.
Jesus is my best friend. I know as long as He is by my side, I can do anything, I can get through anything, I can face any fear, challenge, or hardship.
If you haven't asked God into your life.. what is holding you back? God is ready to radically change your life, are you ready to finally start living?
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
2 Corinthians 2-7
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 4/5/2012
I can't even begin to explain how excited I am for the World Race.. but before I go on the trip I have to raise the money. This part is hard for me. I don't like asking people for money, or really asking for help in general. So, I'm asking for you to go on the journey with me. You probably have a real job, or other obligations you can't just leave. Because you can't personally travel to all of these countries and help the people, I will do it for you. But you can support me, and this is how you can participate in the amazing journey known as the World Race. Below are my different due dates.
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$150 Deposit - Due 12/28/2011 (2 weeks after you’re acceptance date.)
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$3,500 - Due 6/30/2012 (2 weeks before Training Camp)
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$6,500 - Due 8/18/2012 (2 weeks prior to your trip)
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$11,000 - Due 12/1/2012 (End of 3 months on the field)
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$15,500 - Total Due 3/1/2013 (End of 6 months on the field)
I currently only have $523.85. I still have about three months until my first actual deadline. There are a couple of different things I'm planning for fundraisers. I wanted to share with you the most exciting one so far:
Spaghetti Dinner
Saturday May 19
4-7 pm
St. Michael's Hall & Parish Center
834 E Exchange St.
It's right across the street from Dave's supermarket.
There will be food and we are raffling off baskets.
Balloon Animals and Photo Booth
It's $8 adults and $5 seniors/students/children.
Soooo come on down for some pasta and prizes!
This is going to be a really fun event. I'll have an information table so you can learn more about the World Race. There will be food, who doesn't love food? We will be having a 50/50 raffle. We will also be raffling off baskets. I'll keep the baskets a surprise, but the prizes are pretty awesome.
You are invited!
Invite your friends!
I know you're hungry.
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 3/29/2012
After explaining the World Race and some of my long term goals, my friend looked at me and in all seriousness said, "Ya Liz, but what can one person do? You can't make a difference..."
To this my response was... "What about Mother Teresa..?"
Mother Teresa changed the world. Martin Luther King changed the world. Hitler changed the world.
Whether for better or for worse, one individual can change the world. I'm suprirsed how many people make comments like that, or don't do anything because they don't think it will make a difference. Maybe I'm just crazy? Sometimes I start talking about things that make sense to me and seem normal... then I remember it's not. I will randomly start talking about fasting for 40 days, or how I want to sell all my stuff, or how I want to live in one of the poorest countries in the world and just feed people. I'll talk about how I read five books a week, or how I don't have cable. I'll randomly refer to my kids (sponsored not my own)...
Things that are so normal to me seem so strange to everyone else. I have never doubted once that I can change the world. In fact, I know that I am going to change the world. I don't know when I started wanting these things, but I know these dreams and desires are from God. Find me a year ago and say hey Liz next year you're gonna wanna move to Haiti and start your own ministry where you get to feed everyone... I would look at you and laugh. But now, nothing sounds better to me than doing just that.
Isn't it cool to think that God knew you before he even created the world. He knew exactly what He wanted you to do. You were put on earth at exactly the right time. You were born in the exact environment He wanted. He gave you the parents you had for a reason. Every little detail of your life is some how shaping you for what you are to become in Christ.. Isn't it cool to think that someone cares so much about you that they knit you in the womb? They took the time to make every detial of you. Isn't it cool to think that God knows exactly how many hairs on your head? And you can't trick him! Pull out a few.... He still knows.
God has been preparing me for my entire life for this. And now that I know the God given purpose of my life I have never been happier....Well yes and no. It's actually killing me right now. I KNOW without a doubt in my mind that I am meant to be a missionary. I want to be in the poorest darkest places and just be a light. I want to go to places other people would think are too dirty or too poor or too dangerous. That is where I belong. I have had a small taste of the Haitian life, and I am dying to go back... so for right now i am dying. Being in college just trying to wait until I get to go on the adventure of a lifetime... I'm waiting. There's nothing like knowing what makes you come alive, and knowing your purpose... and then having to wait. But like everything else, God is using this time. This waiting period has a purose of its own. During this time i have been trying to work on fundraising and trusting God more. I have been reading books and trying to learn as much as possible. Some days it's so overwhelming. Do you know how many books are out there?? I want to read them all! I have been spending this time knowing God... Which is also overwhelming! No matter how many times you read the BIble there will always be new things to learn and understand.. which is so cool too to think how big God really is.
....and speaking of how big God is.. I went camping last week with one of my friends. In the middle of the night we both woke up because coyotes started howling. They sounded so close.. I didn't think i was going to make it out alive. It made me fear God because He has created so many crazy unique amazing things, such as coyotes. But I was also scared becasue I thought I was going to be coyote food.. I was literally talking to God.. I was like "God this isn't the way I was planning on goin out... but if this is how you want me to go out..." Hahaha. when you're in the middle of no where coyotes are scary, OK!
Anyways. Call me crazy... but I'm going to do whatever it takes to change the world.
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 3/12/2012
If I could see you again I'd ask what Jesus was like.
If I could see you again I'd tell you how much I love you.
If I could see you again I'd hug you and never let go.
Some days it's easy for me to talk about you. Some days it feels like I'm telling a story I read in a book, or a movie I watched. Somtimes it doesn't seem real. Some days I'm so numb I don't remember what it was like being around you. But I don't know what's worse those days or days like today. Where I wake up in the middle of the night so upset it hurts to breathe. Where the pain is so real i can feel it in the deepest part of my soul. The pain that feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing me. Where I'm dreaming and it seems so real until I wake up and realize you won't be here.
It kills me to think about all the pain you went through. I hate that I didn't even know how bad you were struggling. I wish I could have helped you more. I'm sorry I failed you.. But then I'm overwhelmed by God's love. You don't have to suffer anymore, and that helps ease the pain. You're finally home.. and I can't wait until the day when I can see you again.
You put this song on the last CD you made me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBTXNPZPfbE&ob=av2e
"When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed"
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:18-39
If I could see you again I'd thank you for helping me become who i am now. Thank you for giving me the hope I've always needed.
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 2/28/2012
I'm not gunna lie, I am really struggling... It's one thing to read books and hear stories about poverty, but it's another thing to see it first hand. I can sit here and tell you how many people will go hungry today, but it will go in one ear and out the other.. And if it doesn't, it's hard to even understand what they are going through. But how could we? We go home to all these different choices of food. As a "starving college student" it's still a tough decision on what I'm going to eat for dinner... chicken Ramen noodles, or beef Ramen noodles... No I'm just kidding I have a lot more choices than that. But for me, now i have faces and names to these statistics. No longer is it a number, I have seen these kids. I have seen where they live. I have seen their skinny body and their starving eyes. And yes I say eyes.. Have you ever really looked into their eyes? You can see a story that words can't even express... what comes to mind to me is Jeff-Indy. He was one of my first graders. He has five brothers. He comes to school hungry every Monday. Why? Because he didn't have the peanut butter sandwich and water that is provided during the school week. He never gets to drink water at home. When he drinks a glass of water at school he can't stop going to the bathroom. He gets embaressed by this, so he doesn't always want to drink his water.. he is one in hundreds of different stories of hungry kids.. I wanted to help him anyway that I could. Instead of spending my $20 on souvenirs in Haiti I decided to donate the money to buy him some groceries. One of the teachers and I walked to the market to buy him some food. The week after I left was Mardi Grasi so he wouldn't have school all week, which means no peanut butter sandwiches all week. Since he is only in first grade, we got him some food he wouldn't have to cook. As we're walking back from the market, I was carrying a bag full of crackers and some cheese. A little boy from town, couldn't have been more than 4 or 5, came running up to me. He couldn't speak English but he kept pulling my arm pointing to them bag and staring deep into my eyes. He kept saying please. This little boy is so hungry that he has to beg for food... but what am i supposed to do? How can i say no to this little boy? But Jeff-Indy has 5 brothers and no food for any of them. My heart literally broke. I told the little boy to wait for me. I dropped the bag of food for Jeff-Indy off at the school. Then I ran back to my room and grabbed some peanut butter crackers. When I went back to find him, he was no where to be found... I gave the crackers to the first boy I found. Why didn't i give him some crackers while he was there? How could I walk away? I can't get those eyes out of my head.....
Then i come back to the United States. I come back to classes... my exercise science classes. Guess what we talk about.. trying to lose weight. We have so much food, we eat so much, that now we have to try to eat healthier and lose weight. While obesity rates are skyrocketing throughout the nation there are hundreds of thousands of children who will go to sleep hungry. They will wake up hungry and they will continue to be hungry until we do something about it. i'm not trying to condemn anyone or make anyone feel guilty. This is more directed towards myself. i feel so guilty. How can I be so gluttonous? How can i continue to eat so much. all the time. everyday... I go home and I have all these different options for dinner. How can I pray "..and give us this day our daily bread' ... I have a pantry full of food. I don't know what it is like to pray for the food i need for today. I know where my next meal is coming from. and the one after that. and the one next week. and the one this summer.. I know that I will have food. What about Jeff-Indy's mom? How is she going to feed her 6 sons? If they are hungry because they can't eat all weekend imagine the summer. They don't have school for two and a half months. What do the school kids do during summer? I literally cannot stop thinking about this.
I think the Lord is letting me struggle with this. I think he wants me to do something about it. He's telling me his children are out there hungry and I feel him telling me I need to feed them... BUT here's the next thing I'm struggling with - i want to do something NOW. I want to help those children right now. If I could get on a plane with nothing but the clothes on my back i would fly right back there and do whatever it took to feed all those children... but I can't do this by my own efforts. This can only be done through God and his strength. Even though I want to help right now, I need to wait on God. I know his timing is perfect. He is never late, but he is never early either. So while I sit here and struggle with my own over-eating habits I'm waiting on the Lord. i'm waiting for him to tell me how I'm going to make sure i never turn away another child.
Never again will I see a child and not feed him.
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 2/23/2012
I'm currently sitting in the University of Akron library... As I was walking on campus today, I was looking around and it hit me... I feel like I'm in a foreign country. I don't feel like I belong here and even though it's only been five days I long to go back to Haiti.
I've never been nervous to go to a different country. For a long time now I have wanted to travel the world.. But what I was not expecting to find was to feel more at home in one week than I have ever felt in the United States.
I have never been to Haiti before this trip, but I never wanted to leave. You will never find more loving, caring, selfless and friendly people anywhere in the world. I could tell you countless stories of how the children in the school, the missionaries, or the people in the town loved us.I had the opportunity to work with Sonlight Ministries and if you don't know anything about them here's a little sample straight from their website sonlightministries.org:
In 1983, Roger and Norma Alexander moved to Haiti with their two young daughters, Cara and Amber. They moved to the northernmost city of Port-de-Paix, a mere 70 miles from Cuba. When Roger and Norma arrived in Haiti, their goal was to teach and train church leaders. They desired to educate them in New Testament principles and procedures, so that Haitians could better minister to their own people. The Alexanders believed firmly that no one would reach Haiti as well as Haitians themselves. Therefore, their goal from the outset was training church leaders and lay pastors. It soon became clear, however, that Voodoo was far too entrenched in many peoples' lives to un-teach their false beliefs. In order to reach the people of Haiti before they became completely devoted to Voodoo, it would be necessary to begin instruction at a younger age. Thus was born the idea for a Christian school. Roger and Norma conducted a pilot program in 1986 with four students. All subjects were taught in English, and Bible education was a major part of each day's lesson plans. It was a success.
Today the school has grades preschool-12 along with a Bible College. I was able to work in first grade all week. I absolutely fell in love with these kids. Here are some pictures:
I was sitting in class one day when the question was asked: Why do the seasons change? One student rose their hand and said: The seasons change so that the flowers can grow because God wants the people to be happy.
When I heard that I was blown away.... I loved how God was able to be such a big part of their schooling. I loved listening to them pray, and their prayers were always so simple. Thank you for this food, Thank you for the sunshine, Please help some of the students feel better...
One student named Mitsee was the cutest little girl ever. Kids had free time to color, so I walked over to her seat.. Instead of coloring she was using her stencils to write out math problems!
Me and Mitsee
Mitsee wrote me a letter it said: "Miss Liz I love you. Jesus loves you. I love seeing you everyday. I love when you help me. Love MItsee"
Seeing children so rooted in God ws really inspiring. Not only that, I never heard one of them complain, cry, or be angry all week. We gave our Valentine's bags. Candy is a special treat in Haiti. Instead of being selfish, they were giving all of their candy away! They were giving their silly bandz away. They were saving their smarties to take home to their mom... These kids never thought about themselves, only others. I wish I could be as selfless as these first graders. They taught me so much throughout the week.
I'm normally a very anxious person. I am always stressing out about something.... except in Haiti. When you finally realize what really matters you stop stressing about what doesn't. My luggage was lost (it was found the day I flew home). All I had was what was in my backpack: four books (of course) one dress, my hair brush, and my tooth brush... As crazy as it sounds it was almost freeing knowing that I didn't have to worry about anything. I didn't have to decide what outfit to wear or what was clean or dirty or anything else like that. I wore what others lent me and I was happy. It was my first glimpse of "losing everything yet having everything". If I would do it over I would have wanted it to play out exactly as it did. It makes you realize how much stuff you really don't need. It's just a distraction, all this stuff we have... People today are always in front of some sort of screen whether it be a tv screen, a computer screen, or a video game screen. I'm not saying any of those things are bad, but we've gotten a little carried away. Look around a family dinner and at any time more than half of the people "present" have their noses in the phone. Are they really present? Our "stuff" just distracts us from what's really important.
I could go on and on and on about stories and things I learned in one short week in Haiti. It's one thing to read books and stories about it but it's another thing to see it first hand. One of the hardest things for me is being so passionate about something, yet continually not getting support. Unless you see these things first hand you may never understand. All I know is I've left my heart in Haiti, and one of these days I'm going to have to go back to get it...
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 1/29/2012
Soo. I leave on February 10th for a weeklong missions trip wtih my church to Haiti. In the beginning of January we had a prayer/fasting day for the trip... I have never fasted before and wasn't really sure why we fast, what we fast, how long we fast, or even what fasting leads to. So, I decided to do some research. I read a book by Bill Bright who is the founder of Campus Crusade. He felt God calling him to fast for 40 days for America's sins. When he began to fast no one knew how to do it, what to do, and many people told him not to do it. But, since he felt called by God he ignored everyone and consumed nothing but fruit and vegetable juices for 40 days.... I began to think.. could I do this for 40 days?
A few days later I was in the bookstore and I found a 21 day fasting journal.. Now that was more reasonable. I had a little more than a month before my Haiti trip so 21 days was perfect. Piece of cake. I'll fast and get close to God, won't be too hard.
Oh boy was I wrong!! First off, almost no one supported me. They all thought that I was crazy for not eating. Many people also thought I was taking the whole "God thing" too far.. and clearly God wouldnt want me to "starve myself'. But I wasn't starving myself. By "starving my flesh' and the things of this world I was able to hear my clearly my world, my God, my real home.
Today is day 20. Tomorrow is the last day of my fast.. It's funny because in the beginning I made a countdown until I could eat taco bell again.. Now I wouldn't go near taco bell if someone bought it for me and delivered it to my couch. While you are on a fast your body detoxes all the negative things from your body. I have never felt more healthy. During my fast I read a book called What Would Jesus Eat? It really opened my eyes. I have changed every lifestyle behavior that is ungodly except one... Yes we often hear our body is a temple, but do we really believe it? If we did we would not be eating all the processed food, fast food, and other things of the average American diet. We need to take We need to listen to Romans 12:1 and offer our bodies as living sacrifices. Our bodies weren't meant for all of this processed food. And let's be honest, how many of us are gluttons? I can never just stop at one cookie... I want three or four or five. It's a sin to be gluttonous, always wanting more food.. but I never saw it like that before. I'm not breaking my fast with taco bell, instead as I come off my fast I want to offer my body as a sacrifice to God and eat how he would eat. More fish, more whole grains, more fruits, more vegetables...
Other than the obvious health factors that were involved in fasting, I have become so much closer to God than I could have ever imagined. I see him everywhere. I can actually hear him talking to me.
Halfway through the fast I got in a fight with my mom. I stormed away and started praying for her, Lord please just give her strength... you know what he said back? I heard his voice clearly say "NO!! You need to be out there with her."
I have never really heard a booming voice in my ear like that... But not only could I hear God but I could feel his presence. When I would lay down before I fell asleep I could physically feel God. I also had all of these ideas and visions for the future. I had fundraising ideas for my trip, along with new ideas for my bible study... Things would pour into my mind that no way came from me.
Days 9-14 I didn't think I would be able to make it!! I was exhausted. I was hungry. There was nothing I wanted more than food. If I could just have that slice of pizza.. If i could just have that ice cream.. If i could just have those eggs.... But that's the thing. Satan tries to divert our attention to the one thing we can't have... At one point I literally started laughing at myself. Am I really putting a milkshake above God and his kingdom? Am I saying that this milkshake is really worth more to me than God... When you put it in terms like that, it is kinda funny isn't it? it's all about the right perspective. Yes, I am momentarily giving up the foods I love, but for what? God, his kingdom, and all of his secrets. When we focus on things of this world, that is when we are disappointed. We don't have enough money. We don't have a big enough house. Our car isn't nice enough. I need new clothes. I need this, i need that... But once we take our eyes off of this world and keep them focused on God, then we truly find happiness. We realize that this isn't our home; we will never be home until we are in heaven with our Creator. Until then, we aren't going to fit in, people won't understand us or why we do what we do, and we will always long for something more - to be in God's presence. a song I heard on the radio comes to mind - it says, "Remember even on our best day we aren't home yet." if we keep that in mind, then we won't become worried or stressed with things from this life.
These last three weeks have been an emotional rollar coaster. I've been happy, sad, hungry, cranky, tired, motivated, estatic... I've felt spiritual warfare greater than ever before, but I have also been the closest to God.. I am sad it's coming to an end. In his book, Bill Bright mentions how the closest he's ever been to God was during that fast. You can literally feel him, see him, hear him EVERYWHERE. If you have never fasted before, i strongly recommend it. In his book, he also claims that you should never start a major ministry before fasting. Jesus didn't start his ministry without fasting for 40 days... Now if Jesus thought it was important enough to fast, shouldn't we? If we want to follow his example shouldn't we fast? I'm entertaining the idea of going on a 40 day fast before I leave in September. I need to figure out all the deatails and set aside the 40 days, but I recommend you seriously consider fasting a part of your life.
I do not live off bread alone but by every word from God. I hunger for righteousness.
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 1/23/2012
What's your favorite TV show? I used to spend so much time watching TV. I love criminal minds, Dexter, shameless, House, the Office... and so many more. So many good shows... That's what i thought until I cancelled my cable. I think that was the best thing I ever did. A lot of my friends think I'm crazy.. but I LOVE not having tv. You don't realize how much the media affects you until you take yourself away from it. Now when I watch tv I feel like I'm wasting time and being so unproductive. So what do I do with my time? I read! I've read so many books in the past month that I thought I would take the time to recommend a few of my favorites!
1. The Peace Child by Don Richardson
This is by far one of my favorite books.It was all about a group of missionaries in 1960 who traveled to Indonesia right out of Seminary. Deep within a forest, so deep the government had never reached them, was a number of uncivilized tribes. These tribes were still wearing grass skirts and killing fish with spears. When the missionaries told them about the gospel, they started worshipping Judas. What would you do if you were trying to help someone and they started worshipping Judas!! The book goes on to explain how God is in every culture. There are links there between the gospel and any culture, you just have to be creative in finding them.
2. Seven by Jeff Cook
I could not put this book down! Jeff Cook pairs the seven deadly sins each with a Beatitude. He goes through and explains why one leads to death while the other brings you life. Not only that, but he connects things within the gospel, and opened my mind to so many things that I never even thought about. I cannot recommend this book enough.
3. Quiet Strength by Tony Dungee
Being a college athlete, I felt like i knew a lot about sports and coaching.... Tony Dungee proved me wrong. He changed my whole perspective. His book is about football, but it's not about football at all. Although you could say football is his life, he has always made sure to put faith and family first.. It was really inspiring to see how he was living 'in the world, but not of the world." If you're a sportsfan, you'll really enjoy this one.
4. The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom
Whenever I begin to think my circumstances are bad, I begin to think about Corrie ten Boom. She was a Christian who was hiding Jewish people in the Netherlands. She was caught and sent to a concentration camp. Her and her sister were able to be a light in the darkness. They overlooked their circumstances and prayed for the guards and the Germans. They smuggled in a Bible, and read it to the other prisoners. They brought hope in an otherwise hopeless place. By a mere accident, Corrie ten Boom was released from the concentration camp one week before they were sent to the gas chambers. She started a foundation for those who had been in concentration camps.
5. 58 by Scott C. Todd
58 is a global initiative by Compassion International. 58 is based around Isaiah 58, the fasting chapter. It was all about how we have the resources to eradicate poverty, we have just misused them. Since I want to eventually work towards eradicating poverty and providing clean water for everyone, I really enjoyed it.
6. Into the Light by John Lerma
John Lerma is a doctor who works in hospice. In this book, each chapter interviews a differentt patient that has been visited by an angel. One patient was a Nazi soldier, another was an atheist, and another was a 27 year old mother, along with a couple other patients.
7. Radical by David Platt
This book changed my view on the American Dream.... and now i wouldn't call it a 'dream". This book calls us to live out our faith in a radical way... by the end of the book i was ready to sell all my stuff and begin travelling and spreading the Gospel.
8. So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore
obviously more for girls... I loved this book! It talks about why we're so insecure, and how to change it. Beth Moore has suffered through many things, so she provides really helpful information. Definately helped me a lot, and changed my perspective.
9. When Godly People do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore
This book was all about attacks from Satan. It describes some things you may go through if you are under spiritual warfare. It also shows you how to sanctify yourself against future attacks.
10. Lead like Jesus by Ken Blanchard
Not many people businesses hold true to Jesus' principles. This book discusses how to use your position of power to lead like Jesus. By putting aside pride along with not putting your workers under you, your business could be so much more successful. It talks about letting individuals make their own decisions verse forcing a corporate view. This is more of a business book, but I still enjoyed it.
I'm constantly reading and always looking for something new and interesting! I thought I may share some of my favorite books... hope you find one you like!
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Posted in General Posts by Liz Cloutier on 1/23/2012
One of my favorite things about tattoos is not the actual artwork, but the story behind the artwork. Each piece is unique, having its own story. Some people get tattoos as a joke, some get them to mourn the loss of loved ones, some get tattoos with friends or family. Regardless of the reason, there is always more behind a tattoo than just a picture.
We're all kind of like that. It's easy to look at someone and make judgements about them, who they are, what they're like, but most times the judgements aren't really fair. Behind each human masterpiece is a story. A story of who they are and how they got there.
Here's my story.
I was born in New Britain, Connecticut, which is where I lived and went to school until I was 7. In second grade my mom was offered a job in Ohio. My family and I moved to a nice house in Jackson, located in Canton, Ohio. Growing up I played all kinds of sports: basketball, volleyball, softball, I was even a cheerleader. But, in fifth grade I began playing soccer. I loved soccer more than anything else, so I began to focus all my time and energy on it. Many times I was playing for two or three teams at a time. This didn't leave a lot of time for church. I attended when I could, but I wasn't too worried about it -- not as long as I was winning!
After my first year of high school I decided I wanted to transfer. I visited a boarding school in Faribault, Minnesota that focused on hockey. They had six teams who were thriving (probably because Sidney Crosby was playing). They wanted to build a soccer program after the hockey program. So, my sophomore year of high school i began attending Shattuck St. Mary's boarding school. This school was episcopalian and church was every Sunday and Wednesday. My roommate and I would often skip so we could get an hour nap in during the week. We only got caught once! and we got in trouble, not because we skipped church but because we ate Ramen noodles for lunch (our coaches didn't think that was healthy).
All was fun at boarding school until I found out my parents were getting a divorce. So, at the end of my junior year I decided it was important to be home with my family. Instead of staying my last year, I returned home. I graduated with my friends I had grown up with. I also began dating somone who would change my whole life, Dustin.
Freshman year of college I went to the University of Toledo to play soccer. Here I met Shana. Shana taught me what it was really like to have a relationship with Jesus. We went to first year together (for YoungLife) Campus Crusade and Atheltes in Action. We couldn't get enough Jesus! I loved it. But, Shana and I were having a hard time on the soccer team. She ended up going full time ministry and I ended up transferring to the University of Akron.
This was a total God move though. Some how, the paper work through compliance was messed up, so I didn't have to sit out a year. I am the only person who has ever transferred within MAC schools and not had to sit out a year.
Throughout this time I had still been dating Dustin on and off. But, with no support in Akron, I fell into the college athlete lifestyle. Instead of going to Athletes in Action and Campus Crusade, I found myself at football parties and the bar downtown. I was lost for about a year, until a girl on my team and I decided we needed to start going to church every week.
Last summer I went to a Young Life leader weekend with Shana. While one of the speakers was lecturing about idols that keep us away from God, I felt him speak truth into my lfie. It was time for me to stop drinking. For good... So after the weekend, I decided that I was no longer going to drink or party. This was hard because all of my friends were athletes. That's what they did. All the time.
I began taking my relationship a lot more seriously. I began reading a lot of Christian books like Crazy Love by Francis Chan and Radical by David Platt.
This was my senior year of soccer. Everything was going well. We beat Michigan who was ranked top 20; everything was amazing. All until one phone call. I was in the ice tubs getting ready for a game when I recieved a call to tell me Dustin had died.
Dustin? The same Dustin I dated for four years? We had broken up the December previous, but in September he reached out to me saying he needed help. I knew he was fighting demons... but I didn't realize what kind. It wasn't until that day that I had found out that he was addicted to heroin. He died of drug overdose, at home. I had talked to him all day the day before.. how could I not know?
Since I was so close to him and the family, they asked me to speak at his services. Dustin was the one who had brought me to the church that i am now apart of. I wasn't scared or nervous, I knew I had a message from God. I had to tell everyone in my graduating class that there is a God out there who can help us. Who is there for us. Who loves us no matter what.
After giving that speech I knew that I would never use my exercise science degree; instead I was going into full time ministry.
After reading Radical, I was ready to sell all my stuff and travel the world, telling everyone about how amazing Jesus is. When I got a call from Shana telling me about the World Race, I knew it was perfect for me.
All I want is to love people, and to be able to give them the hope that Jesus gave me.
Each tattoo tells a story. I can't wait to share mine and help others in the process.
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